Thursday, September 07, 2006

Trapper's Den September 2006

It’s been a quite a while since I’ve sat down (usually at the KSWA’s Southern Command Center) and penned a Trapper’s Den column. So if you’ll indulge me…

From where I sit during events (usually ring side) I saw some real potential in three guys who suited up in a dark match before When World’s Collide. Out of the three, Billy Glander, Night Train and Buddy Wilson, the massive Night Train has the size; Glander was disturbingly slight for a pro wrestler (but had some high-flying skills) and Buddy Wilson had some raw talent. We’ll see if they make it in the ever-increasingly difficult KSWA locker room.

The Steelers of Pittsburgh put on the helmets and pads once again. The team has had some difficulties since winning Super Bowl 40 (I forget my Roman Numerals), like Ben Roethlisberger’s injuries and Jerome Bettis’ retirement, but the team should be super competitive again this year. Good luck Black and Gold!

At When Worlds Collide, Lost Boy Chris Kash and high-flyer Justin Sane started the show with a real humdinger of a match, this one for the KSWA Kruiserweight Cup semi-final. Kash won in what some may consider a minor upset, but no one has made as many in-ring in-roads as the lightning-quick Kash this past year.

The King of Millvale Del Douglas inexplicably inserted himself into the final of that Chris Kash/Justin Sane match. What could The King have to do with the Lost Boys?

One more note about The King. He is eagerly awaiting his return to Millvale Days, where he will defend his nobility on Saturday, September 16. If you ask me, The King has been intolerable. All he talks about is how his loyal subjects will be tossing flowers at his sandaled feet. And all the girls will want to kiss my ring, he says. We’ll see.

I noticed that Paris Hilton was picked up for DUI the other day. When doesn’t that girl look like she’s drunk out of her mind?

The reigning KSWA Heavyweight Champion, The Enforcer Shawn Blanchard has continually told the fans that he did not tap out to La Lucha and his Mexican sharpshooter, or tirador de elite. That’s partially true. He’s now tapped out TWICE to the Mayor of Mexico City.

Ali Kaida, who is now being called the Afghani Assault Weapon by some, really has improved in the ring and has to be considered a real challenge to Double-A Anthony Alexander’s Golden Triangle/Tri State Championship belt. And with Gentleman Joe Perry’s tutelage, as well as Big Mike Malachi’s influence, Kaida has never been more fearsome. This is despite losing a tough battle with Blanchard.

Some of you know that have a small role (as psych ward doctor Lance Parkham) in the upcoming horror film Fetish Dolls Die Laughing. The producers tell me that the flick might be released before Christmas. The independent gore-fest might not be for everyone, but for those who like gore and local productions might find it interesting. They also tell me that I will be in another of their productions; however, I’m not sure when that will be.

Blood Beast and Zero had one of the best Hardcore Matches the KSWA has seen in recent years. The fans were really into the battle, too. Those are always the best kinds!

Double-A Anthony Alexander fared very well in the Ultimate Double-A Challenge recently. Luckily after the scrum after the match was over, The Snake Man Deven Michaels came to the aid of his new friend.

Mr. 8x10 Michael Cruz has also made an impression before the KSWA Krazies. I’d like to see this guy tag with The Enforcer Shawn Blanchard. They might be the team to beat. Look out Justin Sane and La Lucha, the KSWA Tag Champs.

The Snake Man could be seen spending time with Sarah, the KSWA and La Lucha’s biggest fan, at the last event. Sarah comes with her dad Tim and his friend Charlie. Tim and Charlie run the Bastards of Horror website, which is devoted to all horror movies, good and bad. You can find out how to buy Tim’s new book, Gross Movie Reviews: Vol. 1. It’s a quick read and a valuable resource to anyone who like horror flicks. It could make a good Trick or Treat gift!

Interim KSWA Commissioner Latin Assassin has looked tremendous since coming back from a career-threatening injury. KSWA Management believes that they might get a doctor’s letter sometime in 2007 that will allow the last Tri State Champion to climb back into the active roster and squared circle!

Despite the efforts of some fans to find a way to get Baracus back on the side of the Red, White and Blue, the former Pittsburgh Patriot has rebuffed all offers to once again pick up the American flag.

The Steel City Roller Derby Demons certainly made some friends at the last KSWA events. Check them out sometime. Those lovely gals are welcome back to the home of the professional wrestling, the Lawrenceville Moose, anytime they want.

There’s been no word yet on whether Biker Al will be reinstated by KSWA owner Bobby O. While I am very happy that Bobby took a strong stance against the megastar who attacked me from behind, I hope that Bob will allow Al back in soon. I want to face him man-to-man.

See ya at Millvale Days on Friday, September 15 and Saturday, September 16 and in McKees Rocks on September 23 as the KSWA Krazy Tour kicks off!

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Bedlam Ensued As Worlds Collided in KSWA

by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer

Some familiar faces returned and some shocking developments occurred when the Keystone State Wrestling Alliances’ “When World’s Collide” showcase concluded on August 26.
Before the official start of the show, three newcomers made their first-ever appearance in the KSWA ring. Billy Glander, Night Train and Buddy Wilson took part in a triple threat match that entertained the early crowd. All three competitors showed some raw talent in the ring, but in the end, “The Ideal” Billy Glander got his hand raised in victory. It’s too early to tell if these guys will make it to the big KSWA show, but it just goes to show that the KSWA is growing like no other in Pittsburgh!
Another knockout crowd filled the Lawrenceville Moose and they were treated to a KSWA Kruiserweight Cup Semifinal match in which two fan favorites, Lost Boy Chris Kash and Justin Sane hit the ring.
The two equally-sized combatants traded some acrobatic moves in the ring, with hip tosses and arm drags aplenty. Justin Sane was so overwhelmed by the offensive give-and-take that he temporarily bailed to the outside. That’s where Kash dove onto him from the inside.
The two high-flyers grounded their game with a little brawl on the outside before getting back into the ring. Kash immediately took control with a drop kick. He nearly got a three count win before Sane kicked out. In fact, Justin had to kick out of three consecutive pin-fall attempts.
Justin reversed that offensive barrage with a clothesline on his younger opponent. Sane went to the top rope for a flying elbow. Then he went for a suplex and pin-fall. Kash kicked out at two. Justin showed frustration on his face as he went for a jackknife power bomb. Kash kicked out at two.
Justin used a camel-clutch-like maneuver on Kash to keep him grounded, and perhaps to try and figure out how to beat the upstart one-on-one.
Sane got to his feet and went for a big power move, but Kash was able to get out of the way and pull the ropes down. Justin spilled out onto the floor in a heap. Kash followed for another round of floor fighting. They quickly got back into the ring where Kash went for a pin. Kash went tried a reverse DDT but Justin kicked out at two. There was even another attempt on Justin before he regained composure and staggered Kash.
Justin went for the scissor kick to knock Kash down. Sane then went "froggy" as he splashed from the top rope. Inexplicably, the King of Millvale, Del Douglas, came from nowhere and diverted referee Jimmy James’ attention. He got Sane’s attention and Justin came over to confront the regal King. Douglas then clanked a steel chair he had been carrying over Justin’s head. Sane went down and Kash was there for the pin.
With the crowd stunned, Chris Kash got the one, two, three win.
Justin, confused as to what had just transpired, initially looked concerned over Chris Kash’s attempt to shake hands in the middle of the ring. But after a few words, the combatants shook hands and shared their effort with the approving crowd.
Chris Kash now moves onto the finals of the KSWA Kruiserweight Cup.
“The Enforcer” Shawn Blanchard asked for some time in the KSWA ring and what the champ wants, he gets.
Blanchard, alongside his “advisor” Frank Durso, angrily confronted the KSWA Krazies, saying he did not “tap out” to La Lucha at Wrestle Rock. The fans, who remembered Blanchard frantically slapping his hand on the map after being given the tirador de elite, or sharpshooter, exploded in vocal disapproval.
Despite that, Blanchard, a three-time KSWA Champion, declared himself the greatest wrestler of all time. He went on to say that no one in the locker room could touch him in the ring. That declaration brought out Gentleman Joe Perry of the International Thugs, along with his Afghani Assault Weapon, Ali Kaida.
Perry verbally assailed Blanchard, saying he has ducked the International Thugs and it was time for Ali Kaida to bring the KSWA gold overseas.
That led to the formation of an impromptu match between Blanchard and Ali Kaida.
Kaida, who is much larger than the reigning Champion, used that size advantage early on in the match. Blanchard quickly bailed on the outside for a hasty time out.
Once back in the ring it was more of the same as Ali Kaida shoved Blanchard around the ring. That swing in action brought Frank Durso to the ring apron, while Blanchard and Kaida traded blows on the inside. With Durso gaining the referee’s attention, Perry choked Blanchard.
Soon, Perry confronted Durso on the outside and the two, who normally get along when they are seconding their wards to the ring, got nearly confrontational when the KSWA gold was on the line.
In the ring, Kaida went for a pin and Durso pulled his feet. The Afghani Assault Weapon bodyslammed Blanchard twice and went for the pin. Blanchard kicked out after a two-and-1/2 count. Kaida slapped Blanchard into an abdominal stretch. Durso became involved again. He kicks Ali Kaida enough to help Blanchard regain some measure of control. Blanchard responds by suplexing Kaida.
Blanchard goes for the pin, but referee Jimmy James’ three-count is interrupted by Perry on the outside.
Durso confronts Perry over the interference on the outside, which diverts the referee. Inside, Kaida gets up and slams Blanchard. Ali misses with a knee drop and Blanchard gets up. Blanchard works on Ali Kaida’s knee, which is now dinged up because of the missed move. He pulls Kaida in for a crotch shot on the ring post. Durso chokes Ali Kaida. Blanchard works on the knee some more, which is generally a precursor to Blanchard’s signature figure four leg lock. Blanchard slaps the move on and cinches it in tight. Ali Kaida fairs well for a few moments before ultimately tapping out.
Blanchard retains the KSWA World Heavyweight Championship!
Perry helps Ali Kaida to the back as Frank Durso struts in the ring and Blanchard jostles with the standing-room-only crowd.
Next up is the KSWA Hardcore Match, featuring Zero and Blood Beast. Zero beat Blood Beast earlier this year in a winner receives a KSWA guaranteed contract. Blood Beast has been doing KSWA Owner Bobby O’s bidding since that time just as a way to stay in the locker room.
The match starts traditionally enough inside the ring as the Blood Beast just whacks Zero with huge chops in the corner. Before long, the two are on the outside. Blood Beast is in complete control of the match with punches and kicks. He punctuates his dominance by tossing Zero into the tent leading to the locker rooms. Seconds rolled by as it seemed that Zero might not return to the match.
Then out from the tent, Zero emerged with a computer keyboard. He smashed Blood Beast in the head with the keyboard with such force that the keys burst out everywhere. It was later determined that only the Enter and Shift key could not be found.
For the next few minutes bedlam ensued as the two megastars went after each other with steel chairs, garbage cans, cake tins and countless other ringside articles.
The two made their way to the concession stand, where a KSWA Krazies’ birthday cake was sitting. Blood Beast grabbed a piece of the birthday cake and rammed it into Zero’s face, thus exhilarating the crowd!
Later the two made it to the Moose’s bar area. Zero could be seen throwing himself from atop the bar from across the room. For minutes all most fans could hear were slaps, punches, oohs and ahs from the crowd. Fans stood on their feet to see the most brazen of KSWA actions.
Fans counted along with the referee. One, two, three and the cheers went up. It took a second to see that the Blood Beast’s hands were raised in victory.
The Blood Beast won his first KSWA match by beating his first nemesis, Zero!
After that pandemonium, the Interim KSWA Commissioner, Latin Assassin, was welcomed to the ring. He came out to say that at Fan Appreciation Night in December, La Lucha would get his long-awaited shot at the KSWA World Heavyweight Championship. That announcement didn’t go over well with Champion Shawn Blanchard, who stomped his way to the ring. He met Latin head-on to vocalize his displeasure. He got in Latin’s face so much that the Assassin threw down on Blanchard, but not before poking the champ in the eye. Latin got the upper hand initially, but he is still on the KSWA disabled list because of spinal issues, so the experienced Blanchard was able to regain control. He threw Latin into the ring and exploded with a spine buster.
Durso came into the ring with a chair and held Latin down as Blanchard repeatedly rammed the top of the weapon into Latin’s exposed spinal column. It looked like curtains for Latin when all of a sudden, La Lucha ran to the ring, thus running Blanchard and Durso off.
Blanchard wore the New York Mets hat the always-stylish Interim Commissioner had just worn to the ring, and Durso pointed, pranced and posed. Those in the ring called for a neck brace and one was brought out to Latin. It was put on and several members of the KSWA family had to lead Latin back to his locker room.
Next up was one-third of the International Thugs, Baracus, versus La Lucha. La Lucha was met by the fans with their usual overwhelming support. Baracus was unimpressed.
Baracus used his superior strength to shove The Wrestler into the corner, but he misses with a follow-up spear. But Baracus recovers; hip tosses La Lucha and follows that up with a Samoan Drop. The former American Patriot follows that impressive move with a less-than-impressive choke.
Baracus goes for a quick three count pin, but La Lucha gets his shoulder up at two. For what seemed like an eternity, Baracus followed every power move with another power move. He suplexes La Lucha as supportive chants go out for the Mayor of Mexico City. After a near fall, the encouragement crosses all language barriers and La Lucha gets his second wind. La Lucha rallies and gets Baracus on the ropes, literally and figuratively. La Lucha splash-bombed Baracus in the corner. Baracus got up but La Lucha hit him with a boot to the belly and a finishing move. Three seconds later, La Lucha was the winner!
As soon as that happened, Blanchard and Durso returned to the ring. Blanchard missed his attack on La Lucha and La Lucha slapped on his sharpshooter death-lock. Just as at Wrestle Rock, Blanchard quickly and frantically slapped his hand on the mat.
As the fans were going crazy for La Lucha, Latin Assassin, apparently invigorated enough by treatments in the back, returned to lay a couple of chair shots to Blanchard’s exposed neck.
Latin then ripped off his neck brace to the approval of the fans in attendance.
After an intermission that featured the Steel City Roller Derby Demons, it was time for Trapper’s Den.
Normally, Trapper interviews a KSWA Megastar, but today he received time to discuss last show’s attack by Biker Al. Trapper said that a long time ago he and Bobby O wrestled in the same organization, but both moved on and retired from active ring participation.
However, he said that Biker Al’s next “cowardly” attack could be on anyone, including the concession staff, a bartender or the ticket staff in the front of the building. With that, Dr. Devastation Lou Martin, who came to Trapper’s aid at the last show, tried to calm the Ring Announcer down. Things only got crazier when The King Del Douglas arrived on the scene. The King, who also got a boot or two in on the fallen Trapper at Wrestle Rock, stood up for his frequent Tag Team partner, Biker Al.
The King threatened to get into the ring and take on Trapper himself, but Dr. Devastation put himself in the line of fire for his friend, and then chased the King off.
Trapper, after taking a moment to settle down, got back to the card at hand.
The next match was another semifinal contest for the KSWA Kruiserweight Cup Championship. Joey Quervo, who had a bye in the first round, took on Lost Boy Shane Starr, who beat Zero in the first round last show.
The action was fast and furious between the two from the outset. Shane was the larger opponent, close to the cut off of 200 lbs., whereas Joey was closer to 150 lbs. This match had it all, shots to the crotch and punches to the head. There were kick outs at two and DDT’s. But in the end, Joey connected on a reverse moonsault and got the surprise win against Starr.
So on October 14, Chris Kash will take on “The Drunken Luchadore” Joey Quervo and the winner will become the KSWA’s first-ever Kruiserweight champion!
Next up was a KSWA Grudge Match between the feuding “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin and “The King of Millvale” Del Douglas.
The KSWA Krazies were in full force when Douglas hit ringside. As has become tradition, one fan brings a hamburger, gets down on one knee and presents it to The King. On Saturday, Douglas grabbed the burger and threw it across the room in a fit of rage. His portentousness has no limits when it comes to the KSWA Krazies.
That only got the crowd more riotous and frenzied.
When he finally got into the ring, the King was met with hip tosses and other offensive moves that made him bail outside onto the floor. After a few moments there, he returned with renewed vigor and anger.
The King got Martin down and went for a quick pin, all with his legs draped over the ropes. Referee Jimmy James saw the infraction and called Douglas off of Martin. However, Douglas maintained control of the offense and dropped an elbow off the top rope onto Martin.
The fans once again filled the Moose with vocal chants that quickly got on the King’s nerves. This time, those in attendance chanted for Dr. D. Right hands kept Martin down in the short term.
The turbulent crowd affected the King so much that he momentarily took his attention off of his opponent. That was enough for the veteran Martin, who turned the offensive tables on Douglas and landed an atomic drop.
Somewhere in all of this is should be noted that Shawn Blanchard’s advisor, Frank Durso, quietly appeared on the scene to watch the action in the ring. What was he doing there? That’s a question for another time.
Soon both combatants were on the outside. Lou Martin kept control of the action as he led Douglas into the “belly of the beast,” also known as the fans who relentlessly heckle the King. After a few minutes there, Douglas was brought back to the ring. Martin raked his opponent’s eyes and dropped his leg on him while he was prone on the apron.
Somehow after that mugging, the resilient King regained some offense of his own. In fact, he nearly had a pin-fall against the surprised Martin. Douglas took that momentum and put Martin into a submission hold. There, the Doctor of Devastation nearly lost consciousness. After a two count, Martin was able to get to his feet. That surprised the King, who thought that another opponent was ready to bow at his boots.
Martin had momentum of his own and knocked Douglas down. He dropped a leg onto his prone opponent and went for the pin, but the King kicked out.
Martin went for his signature move, The Death Certificate; however, Douglas had enough in the tank to chop his foe in the crotch.
Douglas quickly followed that move with his signature move, Drop It Like It’s Hot, and the one, two, three for the win.
Trash rained into the ring as the funs had had enough with the King and his pomposity.
After taking a few minutes to clear the ring of paper crowns and other debris, it was time for the Main Event of the Evening: The Double-A Challenge for the Golden Triangle Championship.
Before the contestants could be announced, KSWA Owner Bobby O, who had been delayed by a political fundraiser in Harrisburg, showed up on the scene. He announced that not only would Anthony Alexander defend the Golden Triangle Championship, but the winner of the match would be the Unified Golden Triangle and Tri State Champion, as that vacant belt was being incorporated into the GT title.
Bobby also described the rules for the “Ultimate” Double-A Challenge, where new talent and a former Tri State Champion would compete in a single-elimination challenge in which it is possible that Double A could lose his belt and not even be in the ring when it happened. The match would proceed with Tag Team rules, but friends could tag friends or foes alike. The participants would be pinned or forced to submit in elimination fashion. The last man to pin his opponent or make him submit would be the undisputed champion.
First out was Mr. 8x10 Michael Cruz, who asked for a rematch after being soundly defeated last month. Then came “The Snake Man” Deven Michaels, along with his “friend” Jezebel.
KSWA veteran and one-third of the International Thugs, Big Mike Malachi, along with Gentleman Joe Perry, then hit the ring. And finally, the defending Golden Triangle Champion, Double-A Anthony Alexander, came out to a rousing, explosive fanbase.
Snake Man whipped Mr. 8x10 into the ropes, while Big Mike and Double-A fought on the outside. With the two KSWA veterans on the outside, the pro-wrestling indy vets battled on the inside. Michaels went for a surprise DDT, but Mr. 8x10 reversed it.
Malachi and Alexander got back to the apron before Big Mike knocked the defending Golden Triangle Champion to the floor. Malachi took advantage of the situation and grabbed Michaels. Cruz then punched the Snake Man in the ribs repeatedly.
Action is fast and furious on the inside before Michaels is able to tag Double A. He goes after Mr. 8x10. Snake Man returns and tries to pin Cruz, but he kicks out.
Malachi is brought in by tagging Cruz. He goes after the Snake Man, knocks him down and steps on his flowing locks. Mr. 8x10 is lying prone on the outside, being pelted by garbage from fans.
Malachi chokes the Snake Man then suplexes him in the center of the ring.
Mr. 8x10, who just got back to the apron, is slapped back in by the smug Malachi. Cruz doesn’t really want to come back in so quickly, but he does nonetheless. He is met with unyielding offense from the Snake Man. Cruz attempts to tag Double-A, who wants no part of the exchange.
Cruz is nearly pinned by the Snake Man, but he kicks out at two. Michaels goes for the DDT, but it is blocked and Mr. 8x10 quickly goes for a pin. Referee Jimmy James counts the three and Michaels is the first contestant eliminated.
Anthony Alexander is brought in and he almost immediately hits Mr. 8x10 with his signature move, The Prime Time Cancellation, and Cruz is eliminated.
Before the two KSWA veterans decide to “hook em’ up,” Malachi poses for the crowd. He put his hand up to challenge Anthony to a test-of-strength. When Double-A puts his hands up to meet Malachi, Big Mike thinks better of the challenge and pulls away. He then attacks Double-A and forces him into a corner. After a quick barrage, Alexander falls to the mat. Malachi slaps on the camel clutch. Double-A somehow powers out. Big Mike meets that surge with a boot to the face and leg drop. There’s a close count, but Alexander chicks out.
There are more power moves on Malachi’s part, but Alexander is able to escape a pin fall. Malachi, now aggravated, chokes his opponent.
Then Double-A reaches down into his considerable reserves and somehow manages to his Malachi with a big boot of his own. A leg drop follows and Manager Gentleman Joe Perry pulls Anthony’s leg, thus stopping the pin fall.
Anthony regains momentum and pulls off an impressive fall away slam by throwing the nearly 300-lb. Malachi over his head and shoulders. Double-A goes for the pin but Malachi, a wry veteran of many battles, gets his leg up on the ropes.
Perry gets on the apron and distracts the referee as Double-A waits for Malachi to get to his feet. He lands the Prime Time Cancellation on Malachi, but miraculously, Big Mike gets his massive boot on the ropes.
Malachi gets up and bodyslams Double-A. He gets a near pin fall.
Double-A hits another PTC and gets the win to retain the Golden Triangle Championship!
Perry then waves for Ali Kaida and Baracus to backup Malachi. They get Double-A into a camel clutch, with Baracus applying the pressure on the face, while Ali Kaida pulls his legs up, thus creating force on both ends of the body.
The Snake Man reappears to the delight of the crowd, chases off Kaida with Jezebel. He attacks Baracus from behind and dazes him enough to walk into the short-arm clothes line and DDT. He then throws Jezebel onto the unconscious Baracus. The fans go ballistic with glee.
Perry grabs the microphone and says the situation with Alexander and the International Thugs is not over.
The night ends with Alexander and Michaels celebrating with the fans.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

When Worlds Collide Who Will Survive

KSWA Press Release: "When Worlds Collide" Who Will Survive

Pittsburgh, PA - "When Worlds Collide" what KSWA Megastars will still be standing tall and which ones will be left holding the pieces of lost opportunities.
The Keystone State Wrestling Alliance presents "When Worlds Collide", Saturday, August 26, 2006 at the home of professional wrestling in Pittsburgh, The Lawrenceville Moose. Bell time is 7:30PM.

With Wrestle/Rock 2006 in the rear view mirror, the amps have been unplugged, the guitar picks have been put away but two things remain constant, the raucous KSWA Krazies will be in full force and the action in the ring will be fast paced, hard hitting and in your face as ever.
It has been confirmed by sources within KSWA Headquarters that a major announcement will be made in regards to the Main Event at KSWA Fan Fest 2006, which takes place on Saturday, December 2, 2006 at the Lawrenceville Moose.

The Double A Challenge will headline "When Worlds Collide" as a Fatal Four Way Elimination Match has been booked by KSWA Owner Bobby O and KSWA Interim Commissioner The Latin Assassin. The match will also unify both the KSWA Golden Triangle and KSWA Tri-State Titles. Plain and simple, winner takes all.

In addition to KSWA Golden Triangle Champion "Double A" Anthony Alexander, the combatants will be the leader of IT, BIG Mike Malachi, Mr. 8 x 10 Michael Cruz and The Snakeman Deven Michaels.

Will Alexander be able to fend off the Big Man now residing in Belfast, Ireland and the two hungry newcomers to the KSWA? Big Mike Malachi is coming off an impressive win over the equally sized Bloodbeast at Wrestle/Rock and is focused as ever. Did Mr. 8 x 10 pick up on some of Double A's shortcomings in their last match that he can exploit for the win? After a successful debut, will the Snakeman carry momentum and a 12-foot-long, 70-pound Burmese python named Jezebel to KSWA gold? Anthony is in for the challenge of a lifetime.

The Semi-finals of the KSWA Kruiserweight Kup will take place as Kris Kash will take on Justin Sane and Shane Starr will battle "The Drunken Luchador" Joey Quervo.

Kris Kash received a bye to the semi-finals but will he be fully recovered from his match with the mammoth Ali Kaida at Wrestle/Rock. Justin Sane reached the semis by defeating the Kruiserweight King Del Douglas. This match has the potential to be the showstopper as these two competitors are prone to put the bodies on the line with their high wire aerial assaults. Don't blink because you may miss something.

The upstart Lost Boy Shane Starr reached the semi-finals by defeating Zero in a hard fought match and Joey Quervo received the second bye into the semis. Will Quervo be able focus on the task at hand and overcome the fear of a 12-foot snake slivering over him enough to reach the finals or will Starr continue his rise up the KSWA ladder and wrestle for the chance to become the KSWA's first Kruiserweight Kup winner.

"Dr. Devastation" Lou Martin faces "The King" Del Douglas.

The Doctor and The King along with his "power-duo" running mate Biker Al have been in a heated feud since Martin lost his KSWA Heavyweight Title. Douglas pulled the wool over Lou's eyes when he appeared from out of nowhere to hit his "Drop It Like It's Hot" DDT on Martin and helped Biker Al pick up a win a few months back. Lou picked up a measure of revenge at Wrestle/Rock when he beat the "power-duo" in a Handicap Match. What will happen next between these two remains to be seen?

Will Trapper Tom return to the KSWA Ring Announcing table after his beating at the hands of the Biker Al? If so what will he have to say if anything?

After losing the Handicap Match to Lou Martin and upon hearing the announcement of the winner, Biker Al jumped the KSWA Ring Announcer. Bobby O furious at what had just taken place, immediately suspended Al for laying his hands on a KSWA official thus he will not be allowed in the building on August 26th. Trapper Tom was reported to have a concussion and some minor cuts and bruises.

La Lucha fresh off of making KSWA Heavyweight Champion "The Enforcer" Shawn Blanchard "tap out" in a non-title match will face IT member Baracus.

The new Number One Contender for the KSWA Heavyweight Title has Shawn Blanchard set in his sights and will do anything to become the next KSWA Champion but can't look past the dangerous and focused Baracus. The Sniper has one thing on his mind...to inflict as much pain as humanly possible. Can La Lucha survive this match and get his chance at the KSWA Heavyweight Title in one night? I am sure Baracus and Shawn Blanchard has something to say about that.

What will KSWA Heavyweight Champion Shawn Blanchard and his Advisor Frank Durso have in store for La Lucha? The infamous "tap out" at Wrestle/Rock will fresh in their minds and it is a guarantee that it will be addressed. Will La Lucha answer the call or will the combination of Durso and Blanchard be too much to handle?

Zero and Bloodbeast will go to the depths of hell in a KSWA Hardcore Match.

Zero owns a KSWA Contract because of an earlier victory over the Blood beast, who would like nothing better than to exact revenge and punish his opponent for the loss that has him battling for a contract each and every time he steps foot in a KSWA ring.

After a shocking loss to the hands of Kris Kash what will the menacing Ali Kaida and the other members of IT have in store for the KSWA and its fans? After a few minor set backs they will no doubt be looking to make a statement to the KSWA locker room that they are for real.

The Lawrenceville Moose is located at 120 51st St. in the Lawrenceville neighborhood of Pittsburgh. Tickets are $10.00 for Adults and $8.00 for Kids. Card is subject to change. For more information, call 412-762-1762

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

La Lucha Gets His Shot, New Megastars Make An Impression At Wrestle Rock

by ringside accounts


Fans filled the Lawrenceville Moose on Saturday, July 22 for Wrestle Rock 2006 and witnessed the culmination of one wrestler’s assent to the top of the KSWA ladder, some more shocking developments as well as the debut of two brand new KSWA Megastars.

The first big development of the night was the debut of “The Snakeman” Deven Michaels, an athlete who successfully distracts his opponent with “something” inside a giant rustling sack, then usually gets over by pinning his competition with the ole 1, 2, 3.

His debut opponent on the grand KSWA stage was “The Drunken Luchadore” Joey Quervo. Joey came to the ring wearing a grass skirt and a lay around his neck. When Joey saw the moving burlap sack, he wanted to leave. But interim-Commissioner Latin Assassin came to ringside and with the use of fluid Spanish, persuaded Joey to hit the ring. Joey did, but not before cradling his usual “bottled courage.”

Joey did get in some offense, but the newcomer did have some tricky moves of his own. Quickly, Deven Michaels tried to get the pin on Joey, but Mr. Quervo kicked out. Michaels tried to grab the bag and spill its contents, but Joey would have none of it. “The Snake Man” would tease Joey with the bag, and the experienced, yet inebriated Quervo would freak out.

Before you knew it, Michaels smashed his opponent with the short armed clothesline and a quick DDT.

Deven Michaels covered Joey Quervo for the decisive pin fall victory. Deven Michaels then retreated to the corner; all the while a standing room only crowd was going berserk as they knew what was coming next. Michaels spilled out Jezebel, his 12-foot-long, 70-pound Burmese python. A petrified Joey Quervo did all he could to get back to the locker room.

The KSWA Krazies went absolutely crazy for The Snake Man and Jezebel.

After the crowd simmered down a bit, Dr. Devastation Lou Martin was announced as a guest in the ring. However, Martin looked different. Instead of his usual ring attire, he dressed like and acted just like Biker Al. With a goofy grin and thumbs in the air, Martin made the crowd laugh.

Martin got into the ring and went over Al’s “campaign promises” for KSWA Commissioner. He then elaborated about his feud with the commissioner wannabe. Soon, Biker Al arrived on the scene and confronted Martin. A match was made for later in the evening.

Next, Big Mike Malachi made his way to the ring, along with his manager “Gentleman” Joe Perry. Malachi was ready for a fight but there wasn’t any immediate competition.

Then stepped out KSWA Owner Bobby O. He brought with him a wrestler that has agreed to “do his bidding”: The Blood Beast. Malachi agreed to the match, not thinking that the unsigned rookie would give him much of a fight. However, the power of the Blood Beast was evident. In the beginning of the match, Blood Beast was clearly in control. But the experienced Malachi was able to make a reversal.

At that point the match started to see-saw. Malachi would gain an advantage, then Blood Beast. Malachi used some “old school” moves and went for a pin. Blood Beast kicked out at two.
Outside Blood Beast had an advantage, slamming Malachi. Malachi gave Blood Beast the big boot. Joe Perry pulls the ref out of the ring when Blood Beast had an advantage. Everything that could possibly occur in the match did.

But in the end, Big Mike Malachi was able to count on his vast expertise and get the three-count victory.

Bobby O was livid, but still championed his “muscle.”

Next up was the first match in the tournament for the KSWA Kruiserweight Cup tournament. Another KSWA rookie, The Alaskan Intimidator, Zero, faced off against one half of the Lost Boyz, Shane Starr. Starr is the largest “legal” competitor in the tournament, weighing in at 198.7 lbs. The KSWA Kruiserweight Cup is designed for the federation’s competitors who weigh 200 lbs or less.

Zero used a chair against Starr in the early going of the match, but the tough youngster recovered. The match was fast and furious as the two showed off their impressive in-ring skills. When Starr nearly got a pin fall against Zero, the ecstatic crowd exploded into a “he HAD him” chant. But as Starr rallied earlier in the match, Zero was able to get back into the match.

The two went at it for a few more minutes before Starr, who is accustomed to tag team matches with his partner Chris Kash (who earned a first-round bye in the tournament), scored a minor upset against the surging Zero.

Shortly after the conclusion of that match, the other scheduled match for the KSWA Kruiserweight Cup was called. Justin Sane came to the ring ready to wrestle someone, reportedly the Great Toyota. In barges the “King of Millvale” Del Douglas, with a bathroom scale in hand. Douglas as you may remember, weighed 203 lbs. as the June event, which disqualified him for the tournament.

Douglas demanded entry into the tournament and was willing to do sit-ups and push-ups in the ring. He was causing quite a ruckus when Interim Commissioner the Latin Assassin entered the scene. Latin asked Douglas to get on the scale, and it appeared that “The King” weighed a beefy 213 lbs.

That’s when Justin Sane said it didn’t matter to him how much the King weighed, as he was the true king of the KSWA Krazies and he was going to defeat Douglas regardless of what the scale said.

Latin Assassin agreed to let The King in the match and it was on.

Quickly, Justin Sane almost got a pin. But the King was able to bounce back. He laid in a well-placed elbow and got a near fall himself.

The King was in control as he racked Justin’s eyes across the top rope. Justin Sane was tied up in the corner and then drop kicked. Even though Douglas had the momentum going his way, the fans still screamed “Burger King, Burger King!”

After a few moments, Justin was able to regain his composure and move forward. The fans turned their attention to Justin and chanted his name. With a flurry of offensive maneuvers, Justin was back on top and The King rolled out onto the floor. Action soon followed. Justin retained control of the match and rolled Douglas back inside. There was a leg drop, but Douglas kicked out at two. Justin used the neck breaker. The tough as nails King of Millvale kicked out.

After an ill-fated attempt at getting a time out, The King was back in the match. He even slapped The Claw on a fallen Justin Sane. That pressure to the head enabled Douglas to scoop slam Justin and go for the “Drop It Like It’s Hot” maneuver he’s used to score victories. But Justin was able to get his foot on the ropes.

A few minutes later, Justin was able to regain the momentum he had earlier and leave Douglas lying on the ground. Sane got to the corner and “got froggy” by splashing on Douglas from the top rope.

The winner and moving onto the next round of the KSWA Kruiserweight Cup tournament is Justin Sane!

Referee Jimmy James carried The King back to the locker room while Justin Sane celebrated with the fans as the KSWA went into intermission.

After a quick break in which fans won prizes, met with some of their favorites and even got an autograph or two, the ring bell was rung and it was time for action.

Trapper’s Den featured two of the International Thugs: Ali Kaida and the group’s manager, Gentleman Joe Perry. Perry talked up his stable, which includes Big Mike Malachi who earlier in the evening earned a win over the Blood Beast, and Baracus, the former American soldier who turned his back on his country. Baracus was not on the card for Wrestle Rock, some say because he was on a top secret mission to the Middle East, where he has earned a reputation as a nomadic soldier of fortune for the “other side.”

Ali Kaida said that he would not stop until the International Thugs were in possession of all of the KSWA gold. He also said that his path of destruction and domination would start with him beating one-half of the Lost Boyz—Chris Kash—in single’s competition.

That declaration led into the scheduled match between the two. Cash was subject to Ali Kaida’s Camel Clutch maneuver a few months ago and the two have had other altercations.

As expected, the much larger Kaida overpowered Kash in the onset of the match. However, Kash was able to counter some of those moves with his arsenal of lightning-quick moves. Before he knew it, Ali Kaida had his shoulders on the mat. But he was able to kick out at two.

The fans went nutty for Kash’s spectacular moves, including a leg drop from the second rope. That particular move helped Kash record the biggest upset of his career. Ali Kaida was not happy as he chased Kash back to the locker room area. It’s still unknown what happened after the two went back into the bowels of the Lawrenceville Moose.

The next match was between Biker Al and Dr. Devastation Lou Martin. The two made the match earlier in the evening when Martin mocked Biker Al’s unsanctioned campaign for KSWA Commissioner.

Biker Al took the ring microphone and informed Martin that he was making his match a “handicap match” against Dr. Devastation. Al told Martin that his partner was none other than his “Power Duo” pal, “The King of Millvale” Del Douglas!

Dr. Devastation was confident and agreed to the added stipulation. The King quickly attacked from behind. He nearly got a three count on Martin with the help of the ring ropes. Biker Al followed with an elbow and the King hit a flying splash.

But Dr. Devastation kicked out!

Lou came back with some offense of his own. He attacked both men and chopped Biker Al. He hit a flying clothes line on the King. But the numbers game caught up with Lou and the Power Duo took turns punching and kicking the former KSWA Heavyweight Champion. Biker Al even slapped on the Cobra Clutch. The King picked up Lou’s hand and threw it to the mat, but referee Jimmy James saw the shenanigans.

The double teaming continued and the duo went for a pin. But remarkably Lou Martin kicked out. The Doctor rallied with the help of an age-old “stalling” tactic: he bashed both opponents in the crotch. He applied the double DDT and stepped on Al’s stomach. The King somehow kicked out.

There was another near fall on the King before Biker Al made the save. Lou took charge and clocked Biker Al. Martin then slapped on his signature move, the “Death Certificate” and got the deuce.

As Ring Announcer Trapper Tom was announcing Martin as the winner, Biker Al—without provocation—punched him in the back of the head. Trapper hit the floor. Biker Al picked him up and threw him into the ring. The sudden attack left the crowd in shock. Biker Al continued to punch, kick and choke the Ring Announcer. Dr. Devastation tried to make the save but was swatted back by the King. At that moment, Douglas took the opportunity to put a boot or two Trapper Tom. Martin then regained his composure and got Biker Al and King Douglas off of the fallen executive.

With that, KSWA Owner Bobby O rushed to the scene. The owner and Trapper Tom have been long-time friends and business associates out of the ring. He was furious that Biker Al would do such a thing. Bobby then suspended Biker Al indefinitely! The crowd went crazy for that news.

Justin Sane and others came out to help Trapper back to the locker room. It was later determined by doctors that Trapper had received a concussion and would be out of action himself for an undetermined amount of time.

After the shock of those proceedings, Bobby O took the microphone to announce the next match. Double-A Anthony Alexander hit the ring for another in his “Double A Challenges” for the KSWA Golden Triangle Championship. After a short while in which no one seemed to want a piece of the 6’5” athlete from Hollywood, California, a brand new face burst onto the scene.

“Mr. 8x10” Michael Cruz, armed with a framed photo of himself, challenged the champion. In a racy monologue, Cruz bestowed his own virtues. Double-A then took the microphone and knocked his opponent down a few rungs. That led to a championship match.

The two went at it for a short while. Both men had stretches of momentum and the fans were completely behind Alexander, who has held the Golden Triangle Championship for over a year.

Cruz took a powder to the outside to regroup. He got back in and got some offense, but in the end, Alexander was just too much for “Mr. 8x10,” who fell pray to the “Prime Time Cancellation.”

Alexander got the win, but KSWA Krazies should not count Mr. 8x10 Michael Cruz out of any picture.

And after and extended celebration with fans and Alexander, it was time for the Main Event of the Evening. “The Enforcer” Shawn Blanchard was to take on “The Mayor of Mexico City” La Lucha for the KSWA Heavyweight Championship, but he balked. Blanchard claimed that because he defended the belt twice at Heatwave Havoc, he was invoking a rare, little-quoted clause saying he doesn’t have to defend the belt three times in 60 days.

Bobby O had no choice but to agree with Blanchard. However, the owner said that Blanchard was still going to wrestle La Lucha, but instead it was a Number One Contender’s match that means if the challenger would win, he would get a title shot at “When Worlds Collide” on August 26.

Blanchard begrudgingly agreed, but he and his “advisor” Frank Durso punctuated their belligerence by blindsiding and taking out referee Jimmy James.

With yet another KSWA official being beaten, Latin Assassin emerged from the back to gauge the situation. Latin and Bobby O agreed that the “new” referee for the match would be none other than KSWA Owner Bobby O!

The fans went out of control when La Lucha emerged from the locker room. This was a culmination of success for the technical powerhouse from Mexico City. The fans have made La Lucha the incredible sensation he has become in recent months, and Blanchard knew it.

Much of the match was a blur as the two men battled in and out of the squared circle. La Lucha is legendary in the KSWA locker room for watching tapes of each and every Megastar. Arguably the most studious of the wrestlers currently in the locker room, La Lucha was able to counter a lot of Blanchard’s attacks. And hit the champ with some of his own.

The two went back to the back of the Moose, where La Lucha is a local celebrity. The combatants struggled out of the ring before getting back in. Both men nearly scored a win over the other. Durso got involved on more than one occasion.

Blanchard was at the top of his game that evening, but there was one slight opening and La Lucha took it. He slapped on a submission move and with Durso trying to aid his ward, Blanchard tapped out!

The winner of the match and new Number One Contender for the KSWA World Heavyweight Championship, with a shot at the gold at When Worlds Collide on August 26: La Lucha!

The fans were whipped into a frenzy as they shouted “You Tapped Out” to Blanchard. La Lucha partied and another uproarious night was in the books.

[It’s believed that Ring Announcer Trapper Tom will return as a reporter to the KSWA website soon.]

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Statement from Trapper Tom

I want to thank everyone who has expressed concerns and sent along well wishes to me after receiving a concussion at the hands of Biker Al and then "The King of Millvale" Del Douglas. Because of the injury, I have been told by the best doctors in Pittsburgh that I am going to be out of action for a while.

However, as soon as the doctors tell me I'm ready to return, I'll be back in the KSWA ring, bringing all of your favorite (and not so favorite) Megastars to the squared circle.

You may reach me at by clicking onto my friend picture at myspace.com/kswawrestling.

Thanks again, Trap

--A statement released on behalf of KSWA Director of Corporate Communications and Ring Announcer, Trapper Tom

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