Wednesday, August 02, 2006

La Lucha Gets His Shot, New Megastars Make An Impression At Wrestle Rock

by ringside accounts

Fans filled the Lawrenceville Moose on Saturday, July 22 for Wrestle Rock 2006 and witnessed the culmination of one wrestler’s assent to the top of the KSWA ladder, some more shocking developments as well as the debut of two brand new KSWA Megastars.

The first big development of the night was the debut of “The Snakeman” Deven Michaels, an athlete who successfully distracts his opponent with “something” inside a giant rustling sack, then usually gets over by pinning his competition with the ole 1, 2, 3.

His debut opponent on the grand KSWA stage was “The Drunken Luchadore” Joey Quervo. Joey came to the ring wearing a grass skirt and a lay around his neck. When Joey saw the moving burlap sack, he wanted to leave. But interim-Commissioner Latin Assassin came to ringside and with the use of fluid Spanish, persuaded Joey to hit the ring. Joey did, but not before cradling his usual “bottled courage.”

Joey did get in some offense, but the newcomer did have some tricky moves of his own. Quickly, Deven Michaels tried to get the pin on Joey, but Mr. Quervo kicked out. Michaels tried to grab the bag and spill its contents, but Joey would have none of it. “The Snake Man” would tease Joey with the bag, and the experienced, yet inebriated Quervo would freak out.

Before you knew it, Michaels smashed his opponent with the short armed clothesline and a quick DDT.

Deven Michaels covered Joey Quervo for the decisive pin fall victory. Deven Michaels then retreated to the corner; all the while a standing room only crowd was going berserk as they knew what was coming next. Michaels spilled out Jezebel, his 12-foot-long, 70-pound Burmese python. A petrified Joey Quervo did all he could to get back to the locker room.

The KSWA Krazies went absolutely crazy for The Snake Man and Jezebel.

After the crowd simmered down a bit, Dr. Devastation Lou Martin was announced as a guest in the ring. However, Martin looked different. Instead of his usual ring attire, he dressed like and acted just like Biker Al. With a goofy grin and thumbs in the air, Martin made the crowd laugh.

Martin got into the ring and went over Al’s “campaign promises” for KSWA Commissioner. He then elaborated about his feud with the commissioner wannabe. Soon, Biker Al arrived on the scene and confronted Martin. A match was made for later in the evening.

Next, Big Mike Malachi made his way to the ring, along with his manager “Gentleman” Joe Perry. Malachi was ready for a fight but there wasn’t any immediate competition.

Then stepped out KSWA Owner Bobby O. He brought with him a wrestler that has agreed to “do his bidding”: The Blood Beast. Malachi agreed to the match, not thinking that the unsigned rookie would give him much of a fight. However, the power of the Blood Beast was evident. In the beginning of the match, Blood Beast was clearly in control. But the experienced Malachi was able to make a reversal.

At that point the match started to see-saw. Malachi would gain an advantage, then Blood Beast. Malachi used some “old school” moves and went for a pin. Blood Beast kicked out at two.
Outside Blood Beast had an advantage, slamming Malachi. Malachi gave Blood Beast the big boot. Joe Perry pulls the ref out of the ring when Blood Beast had an advantage. Everything that could possibly occur in the match did.

But in the end, Big Mike Malachi was able to count on his vast expertise and get the three-count victory.

Bobby O was livid, but still championed his “muscle.”

Next up was the first match in the tournament for the KSWA Kruiserweight Cup tournament. Another KSWA rookie, The Alaskan Intimidator, Zero, faced off against one half of the Lost Boyz, Shane Starr. Starr is the largest “legal” competitor in the tournament, weighing in at 198.7 lbs. The KSWA Kruiserweight Cup is designed for the federation’s competitors who weigh 200 lbs or less.

Zero used a chair against Starr in the early going of the match, but the tough youngster recovered. The match was fast and furious as the two showed off their impressive in-ring skills. When Starr nearly got a pin fall against Zero, the ecstatic crowd exploded into a “he HAD him” chant. But as Starr rallied earlier in the match, Zero was able to get back into the match.

The two went at it for a few more minutes before Starr, who is accustomed to tag team matches with his partner Chris Kash (who earned a first-round bye in the tournament), scored a minor upset against the surging Zero.

Shortly after the conclusion of that match, the other scheduled match for the KSWA Kruiserweight Cup was called. Justin Sane came to the ring ready to wrestle someone, reportedly the Great Toyota. In barges the “King of Millvale” Del Douglas, with a bathroom scale in hand. Douglas as you may remember, weighed 203 lbs. as the June event, which disqualified him for the tournament.

Douglas demanded entry into the tournament and was willing to do sit-ups and push-ups in the ring. He was causing quite a ruckus when Interim Commissioner the Latin Assassin entered the scene. Latin asked Douglas to get on the scale, and it appeared that “The King” weighed a beefy 213 lbs.

That’s when Justin Sane said it didn’t matter to him how much the King weighed, as he was the true king of the KSWA Krazies and he was going to defeat Douglas regardless of what the scale said.

Latin Assassin agreed to let The King in the match and it was on.

Quickly, Justin Sane almost got a pin. But the King was able to bounce back. He laid in a well-placed elbow and got a near fall himself.

The King was in control as he racked Justin’s eyes across the top rope. Justin Sane was tied up in the corner and then drop kicked. Even though Douglas had the momentum going his way, the fans still screamed “Burger King, Burger King!”

After a few moments, Justin was able to regain his composure and move forward. The fans turned their attention to Justin and chanted his name. With a flurry of offensive maneuvers, Justin was back on top and The King rolled out onto the floor. Action soon followed. Justin retained control of the match and rolled Douglas back inside. There was a leg drop, but Douglas kicked out at two. Justin used the neck breaker. The tough as nails King of Millvale kicked out.

After an ill-fated attempt at getting a time out, The King was back in the match. He even slapped The Claw on a fallen Justin Sane. That pressure to the head enabled Douglas to scoop slam Justin and go for the “Drop It Like It’s Hot” maneuver he’s used to score victories. But Justin was able to get his foot on the ropes.

A few minutes later, Justin was able to regain the momentum he had earlier and leave Douglas lying on the ground. Sane got to the corner and “got froggy” by splashing on Douglas from the top rope.

The winner and moving onto the next round of the KSWA Kruiserweight Cup tournament is Justin Sane!

Referee Jimmy James carried The King back to the locker room while Justin Sane celebrated with the fans as the KSWA went into intermission.

After a quick break in which fans won prizes, met with some of their favorites and even got an autograph or two, the ring bell was rung and it was time for action.

Trapper’s Den featured two of the International Thugs: Ali Kaida and the group’s manager, Gentleman Joe Perry. Perry talked up his stable, which includes Big Mike Malachi who earlier in the evening earned a win over the Blood Beast, and Baracus, the former American soldier who turned his back on his country. Baracus was not on the card for Wrestle Rock, some say because he was on a top secret mission to the Middle East, where he has earned a reputation as a nomadic soldier of fortune for the “other side.”

Ali Kaida said that he would not stop until the International Thugs were in possession of all of the KSWA gold. He also said that his path of destruction and domination would start with him beating one-half of the Lost Boyz—Chris Kash—in single’s competition.

That declaration led into the scheduled match between the two. Cash was subject to Ali Kaida’s Camel Clutch maneuver a few months ago and the two have had other altercations.

As expected, the much larger Kaida overpowered Kash in the onset of the match. However, Kash was able to counter some of those moves with his arsenal of lightning-quick moves. Before he knew it, Ali Kaida had his shoulders on the mat. But he was able to kick out at two.

The fans went nutty for Kash’s spectacular moves, including a leg drop from the second rope. That particular move helped Kash record the biggest upset of his career. Ali Kaida was not happy as he chased Kash back to the locker room area. It’s still unknown what happened after the two went back into the bowels of the Lawrenceville Moose.

The next match was between Biker Al and Dr. Devastation Lou Martin. The two made the match earlier in the evening when Martin mocked Biker Al’s unsanctioned campaign for KSWA Commissioner.

Biker Al took the ring microphone and informed Martin that he was making his match a “handicap match” against Dr. Devastation. Al told Martin that his partner was none other than his “Power Duo” pal, “The King of Millvale” Del Douglas!

Dr. Devastation was confident and agreed to the added stipulation. The King quickly attacked from behind. He nearly got a three count on Martin with the help of the ring ropes. Biker Al followed with an elbow and the King hit a flying splash.

But Dr. Devastation kicked out!

Lou came back with some offense of his own. He attacked both men and chopped Biker Al. He hit a flying clothes line on the King. But the numbers game caught up with Lou and the Power Duo took turns punching and kicking the former KSWA Heavyweight Champion. Biker Al even slapped on the Cobra Clutch. The King picked up Lou’s hand and threw it to the mat, but referee Jimmy James saw the shenanigans.

The double teaming continued and the duo went for a pin. But remarkably Lou Martin kicked out. The Doctor rallied with the help of an age-old “stalling” tactic: he bashed both opponents in the crotch. He applied the double DDT and stepped on Al’s stomach. The King somehow kicked out.

There was another near fall on the King before Biker Al made the save. Lou took charge and clocked Biker Al. Martin then slapped on his signature move, the “Death Certificate” and got the deuce.

As Ring Announcer Trapper Tom was announcing Martin as the winner, Biker Al—without provocation—punched him in the back of the head. Trapper hit the floor. Biker Al picked him up and threw him into the ring. The sudden attack left the crowd in shock. Biker Al continued to punch, kick and choke the Ring Announcer. Dr. Devastation tried to make the save but was swatted back by the King. At that moment, Douglas took the opportunity to put a boot or two Trapper Tom. Martin then regained his composure and got Biker Al and King Douglas off of the fallen executive.

With that, KSWA Owner Bobby O rushed to the scene. The owner and Trapper Tom have been long-time friends and business associates out of the ring. He was furious that Biker Al would do such a thing. Bobby then suspended Biker Al indefinitely! The crowd went crazy for that news.

Justin Sane and others came out to help Trapper back to the locker room. It was later determined by doctors that Trapper had received a concussion and would be out of action himself for an undetermined amount of time.

After the shock of those proceedings, Bobby O took the microphone to announce the next match. Double-A Anthony Alexander hit the ring for another in his “Double A Challenges” for the KSWA Golden Triangle Championship. After a short while in which no one seemed to want a piece of the 6’5” athlete from Hollywood, California, a brand new face burst onto the scene.

“Mr. 8x10” Michael Cruz, armed with a framed photo of himself, challenged the champion. In a racy monologue, Cruz bestowed his own virtues. Double-A then took the microphone and knocked his opponent down a few rungs. That led to a championship match.

The two went at it for a short while. Both men had stretches of momentum and the fans were completely behind Alexander, who has held the Golden Triangle Championship for over a year.

Cruz took a powder to the outside to regroup. He got back in and got some offense, but in the end, Alexander was just too much for “Mr. 8x10,” who fell pray to the “Prime Time Cancellation.”

Alexander got the win, but KSWA Krazies should not count Mr. 8x10 Michael Cruz out of any picture.

And after and extended celebration with fans and Alexander, it was time for the Main Event of the Evening. “The Enforcer” Shawn Blanchard was to take on “The Mayor of Mexico City” La Lucha for the KSWA Heavyweight Championship, but he balked. Blanchard claimed that because he defended the belt twice at Heatwave Havoc, he was invoking a rare, little-quoted clause saying he doesn’t have to defend the belt three times in 60 days.

Bobby O had no choice but to agree with Blanchard. However, the owner said that Blanchard was still going to wrestle La Lucha, but instead it was a Number One Contender’s match that means if the challenger would win, he would get a title shot at “When Worlds Collide” on August 26.

Blanchard begrudgingly agreed, but he and his “advisor” Frank Durso punctuated their belligerence by blindsiding and taking out referee Jimmy James.

With yet another KSWA official being beaten, Latin Assassin emerged from the back to gauge the situation. Latin and Bobby O agreed that the “new” referee for the match would be none other than KSWA Owner Bobby O!

The fans went out of control when La Lucha emerged from the locker room. This was a culmination of success for the technical powerhouse from Mexico City. The fans have made La Lucha the incredible sensation he has become in recent months, and Blanchard knew it.

Much of the match was a blur as the two men battled in and out of the squared circle. La Lucha is legendary in the KSWA locker room for watching tapes of each and every Megastar. Arguably the most studious of the wrestlers currently in the locker room, La Lucha was able to counter a lot of Blanchard’s attacks. And hit the champ with some of his own.

The two went back to the back of the Moose, where La Lucha is a local celebrity. The combatants struggled out of the ring before getting back in. Both men nearly scored a win over the other. Durso got involved on more than one occasion.

Blanchard was at the top of his game that evening, but there was one slight opening and La Lucha took it. He slapped on a submission move and with Durso trying to aid his ward, Blanchard tapped out!

The winner of the match and new Number One Contender for the KSWA World Heavyweight Championship, with a shot at the gold at When Worlds Collide on August 26: La Lucha!

The fans were whipped into a frenzy as they shouted “You Tapped Out” to Blanchard. La Lucha partied and another uproarious night was in the books.

[It’s believed that Ring Announcer Trapper Tom will return as a reporter to the KSWA website soon.]