Thursday, September 07, 2006

Trapper's Den September 2006

It’s been a quite a while since I’ve sat down (usually at the KSWA’s Southern Command Center) and penned a Trapper’s Den column. So if you’ll indulge me…

From where I sit during events (usually ring side) I saw some real potential in three guys who suited up in a dark match before When World’s Collide. Out of the three, Billy Glander, Night Train and Buddy Wilson, the massive Night Train has the size; Glander was disturbingly slight for a pro wrestler (but had some high-flying skills) and Buddy Wilson had some raw talent. We’ll see if they make it in the ever-increasingly difficult KSWA locker room.

The Steelers of Pittsburgh put on the helmets and pads once again. The team has had some difficulties since winning Super Bowl 40 (I forget my Roman Numerals), like Ben Roethlisberger’s injuries and Jerome Bettis’ retirement, but the team should be super competitive again this year. Good luck Black and Gold!

At When Worlds Collide, Lost Boy Chris Kash and high-flyer Justin Sane started the show with a real humdinger of a match, this one for the KSWA Kruiserweight Cup semi-final. Kash won in what some may consider a minor upset, but no one has made as many in-ring in-roads as the lightning-quick Kash this past year.

The King of Millvale Del Douglas inexplicably inserted himself into the final of that Chris Kash/Justin Sane match. What could The King have to do with the Lost Boys?

One more note about The King. He is eagerly awaiting his return to Millvale Days, where he will defend his nobility on Saturday, September 16. If you ask me, The King has been intolerable. All he talks about is how his loyal subjects will be tossing flowers at his sandaled feet. And all the girls will want to kiss my ring, he says. We’ll see.

I noticed that Paris Hilton was picked up for DUI the other day. When doesn’t that girl look like she’s drunk out of her mind?

The reigning KSWA Heavyweight Champion, The Enforcer Shawn Blanchard has continually told the fans that he did not tap out to La Lucha and his Mexican sharpshooter, or tirador de elite. That’s partially true. He’s now tapped out TWICE to the Mayor of Mexico City.

Ali Kaida, who is now being called the Afghani Assault Weapon by some, really has improved in the ring and has to be considered a real challenge to Double-A Anthony Alexander’s Golden Triangle/Tri State Championship belt. And with Gentleman Joe Perry’s tutelage, as well as Big Mike Malachi’s influence, Kaida has never been more fearsome. This is despite losing a tough battle with Blanchard.

Some of you know that have a small role (as psych ward doctor Lance Parkham) in the upcoming horror film Fetish Dolls Die Laughing. The producers tell me that the flick might be released before Christmas. The independent gore-fest might not be for everyone, but for those who like gore and local productions might find it interesting. They also tell me that I will be in another of their productions; however, I’m not sure when that will be.

Blood Beast and Zero had one of the best Hardcore Matches the KSWA has seen in recent years. The fans were really into the battle, too. Those are always the best kinds!

Double-A Anthony Alexander fared very well in the Ultimate Double-A Challenge recently. Luckily after the scrum after the match was over, The Snake Man Deven Michaels came to the aid of his new friend.

Mr. 8x10 Michael Cruz has also made an impression before the KSWA Krazies. I’d like to see this guy tag with The Enforcer Shawn Blanchard. They might be the team to beat. Look out Justin Sane and La Lucha, the KSWA Tag Champs.

The Snake Man could be seen spending time with Sarah, the KSWA and La Lucha’s biggest fan, at the last event. Sarah comes with her dad Tim and his friend Charlie. Tim and Charlie run the Bastards of Horror website, which is devoted to all horror movies, good and bad. You can find out how to buy Tim’s new book, Gross Movie Reviews: Vol. 1. It’s a quick read and a valuable resource to anyone who like horror flicks. It could make a good Trick or Treat gift!

Interim KSWA Commissioner Latin Assassin has looked tremendous since coming back from a career-threatening injury. KSWA Management believes that they might get a doctor’s letter sometime in 2007 that will allow the last Tri State Champion to climb back into the active roster and squared circle!

Despite the efforts of some fans to find a way to get Baracus back on the side of the Red, White and Blue, the former Pittsburgh Patriot has rebuffed all offers to once again pick up the American flag.

The Steel City Roller Derby Demons certainly made some friends at the last KSWA events. Check them out sometime. Those lovely gals are welcome back to the home of the professional wrestling, the Lawrenceville Moose, anytime they want.

There’s been no word yet on whether Biker Al will be reinstated by KSWA owner Bobby O. While I am very happy that Bobby took a strong stance against the megastar who attacked me from behind, I hope that Bob will allow Al back in soon. I want to face him man-to-man.

See ya at Millvale Days on Friday, September 15 and Saturday, September 16 and in McKees Rocks on September 23 as the KSWA Krazy Tour kicks off!